Kept Woman Wednesday: The Girl Can't Help It (1956)

I was a tad frustrated to discover that Turner Classic Movies’ star of the month is…blondes. Huh? I think it does a real disservice to blondes. Judy Holliday is nothing like Doris Day is nothing like Jayne Mansfield, and yet they’re all huddled together by their hair color.

Conceptually, I’m opposed. Trust me, TCM, I think Betty Grable could handle a month all to herself. But, in terms of scheduling, Wednesday has never looked so good. Tonight, it’s a Marilyn and Jayne film festival, which includes “The Girl Can’t Help It.” Anything I could possible describe is joyously detailed in this video tribute from John Waters.

What earns elaboration is Jayne’s relationship with the press. In this video, John Waters describes her as the “parody of Marilyn Monroe…an insane Marilyn,” persona that she controlled. As John says, “Anyone that has a bar that is open 8 hours in their house -- for the press– which she did have – is a girl after my own heart.”

I’m really pleased that a Jayne Mansfield movie is scheduled this week, because I was going to post about her anyway. In another John Waters interview I’ve seen, he describes how Jayne would alert the photographers prior to strolling down Hollywood Boulevard in a bikini with a Chihuahua under her arm.

Jayne seemed to say “don’t let’s be subtle about this whole fame thing.” Which is why this photog encounter with Katherine Heigl seemed so desperate in nature. She certainly looks classy – but don’t let that Rachel Zoe ensemble fool you – it’s ol’ Katherine’s version of Jayne’s beachwear. It seems to humorlessly bellow "please look at me!" This is quite different from Jayne, not only in yardage, but because it's like John Waters says, "How can it be pitful if you're in on the joke?" Maybe someone could give Katherine a hint.

(Katherine Heigl photo credit goes to one of these three: PacificCoastNews, Flynetpictures, style.com)